


Endings, Beginnings and Ice

by peoriapeoria



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adoption, Alpha Bottoming, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Child Care, M/M, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Omega Steve Rogers, Omega Verse, Oral Sex, Pregnancy, S.H.I.E.L.D.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2018-04-13 22:29:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4539873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peoriapeoria/pseuds/peoriapeoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Omegaverse and MCU Captain America. What if someone followed up on the ghost story of the Winter Soldier?</p><p>More about Sarah Carter added.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Steve went into heat the first time when he was twenty. Bucky barricaded the door, desperate to keep his wits about him and Steve safe. The still air of the apartment was heady with the scent and Steve was making delicious little noises. He should have been on the other side of the door.

It was not true that an Omega would die if not bred, nor would unsatisfied rut end an Alpha. It might feel that way for either, and the first was a rare circumstance. Steve had loosened his tie and was toying with his shirt buttons.

He was beautiful, scrawny limbs and pigeon chest, outsized hands and firm jaw. Bucky stripped out of his shirt and trousers, kissing Steve as he did. Rut had him. He peeled Steve like a grape, scattering clothes.

"What?" Steve looked at Bucky kneeling on the bed.

"Get me wet and slide in." He was quaking with want as Steve draped over him. He felt Steve's erection against his boxers until they were pulled down. Fingers spread him, worked Steve's scent in and made him slick with it. He was sparking.

The pressure pushed into him, grounding him thrumming with rut. Steve found a good spot and Bucky reared back to get him seated. He kept his grip on the headboard still desperate to be in Steve.

Steve pulled back, sawing, striking the sweet spot just right then avoiding it. It lasted for ever, it was exquisite. Steve coming was better.

"Your turn." Steve was looking up at him, handsome and satisfied. Eager. Seductive.

He spilled when Steve touched him, spurting and thrusting. He let go of the headboard to clasp over Steve's hand. Wrung out he dropped beside Steve who burrowed under his arm.

They made love again, Bucky straddling Steve. This time Bucky didn't last as long before marking Steve with his semen. 

"Fingers," Steve growled. The specificity was successful.

"So beautiful." This could be their undoing, his cock was perking up from Steve writhing. He finds Steve's sweet spot and that is that. Steve brings him off after taking a face full.

Steve's heat was short. Mercifully neither had to find new bosses. Steve even received a raise.

Steve pulled against Bucky's neck one evening and kissed him. Bucky kissed him back easy and lush. Steve broke it. "What's wrong and why not tell me?"

Bucky made to start to speak, then instead sat down. He looked at Steve. "It caught me by surprise, you being an Omega. Just--"

Steve took pity on them both. They didn't need to point at his age or that his parents had both been betas. "You were good to me." He'd like to think he'd waited for Bucky, but realistically it was his poor health that had delayed his heat. "You could now, you know." They'd have to use something to ease the way. There was no way to know when he'd go into heat again, and the risks then likely would be the same as they'd been this time.

"Steve." He drew his hands down, holding Steve close, holding Steve just that bit away from him, not physically, but away.

"End of the line. Together." He stroked the skin above Bucky's ear.

"You aren't going to let this go."

"No." Steve smiled as Bucky did.

"Punk."

"Jerk." Steve kissed Bucky then pushed him away. He let himself be pulled back, Bucky's arms wrapping around him. He'd been missing this, since. 

It didn't happen that night, or even in the next few days. The jar showed up, but life happened. That they were sleeping like normal was enough.

They were making out, as they had for years. "Now." Steve wanted to go where Bucky had, though they wouldn't talk about that. Bucky looked him in the eye, then got the jar and fitted them together back to chest.

The first finger is weird, not heat hyped. He's done this before and it's different and Bucky's folding and crooking his finger inside Steve. He thinks he should roll onto his knees and he's looped to Bucky's chest by his left arm. The second finger is a promise. Bucky found his prostate, teased it lightly while stretching his hole.

The head of Bucky's cock is blunt pressure, and then slow movement. So much, so deep, so full.

"Bear down." Bucky moaned, holding still, clutching Steve tight. He starts hitching, pulling out and pushing back in, half an inch, an inch, two. He's arching and Steve thinks this is what Bucky felt. Bucky strokes right at the sweet spot and then he's pulling nearly out and sliding home, tapping every so many times. He wants to be on his belly, on his back, wants to be pinned down, wants to see Bucky's face. It's not the same as heat, it's overwhelming and focused.

Bucky comes. He eases Steve through his completion. They stay together. Eventually he slips free, gets up, and cleans himself.

"Stay there." Steve quirks his lips as Bucky frets. "You're beautiful. Mine."

"Yours, all yours." Bucky comes and washes Steve. He gets back in, pulling Steve over him.

The War is upon them too soon, the arguments Steve starts, the fights Bucky finishes. Pearl Harbor. It's declared, FDR says it on the radio, America is at war. Steve tries to enlist, Bucky is shipped off for training. They keep him longer, advanced training.

Bucky is being sent overseas. He's in NYC for the night, the transport leaves in the morning.

"Want you in me." Bucky is in his uniform, every inch an alpha. He stalks toward Steve.

"I'm going to strip you." Steve does exactly that, drinking in Bucky. He knows his father wasn't the same man his mother sent to war. They could have gotten a deferment, there were Stateside duties. Maybe. He's not had another heat.

He guides Bucky onto the bed, making out with him. He wants him on his back. Steve loosens him up with one, then two fingers. Getting the right angle is work and then he's pushing into Bucky. He's throwing his weight into it, such as he has.

"Get it."

Bucky reaches out and snags the strap with rings. Steve takes it from offering finger and wraps it around Bucky's cock. He leans down just touching the head. "I'm going to fuck myself dry and then I'm going to ride you to fill up."

Steve pounds Bucky to bliss. He drifts back up to the slick across his hole, still sheathed. He is inspired to a second wind, fleeting. Slipped free and wet he climbs over Bucky, sinking onto him.

He's gripped and filled, and just when it couldn't get better Bucky releases the cockring and pumps his load.

\---------

Steve doesn't go to the dock. Their farewells are private. It's the only way for James Buchanan Barnes to report tidy and turned out. It's not even week's end before Steve gets caught trying to enlist the fifth time. And gets accepted. Basic is a blur and he can't figure out Agent Carter and then he's huge and he runs and dives and they're hustling him off as a mascot not a soldier. It's better than lab rat.

And then he's in Italy. After he's gotten back, brought back Bucky and the soldiers, after they've taken him to London, Carter comes to him. She's been given the what for by a sergeant and takes it out on Steve.

"Do you even think about shit?"

"I applied myself."

She went very quiet. Stood very close, so she could whisper. "I didn't know you're an omega."

"Dr. Erskine did." Steve paused. "I've not had a heat since the procedure."

And he doesn't for another year.

"Do you smell something?" Dugan asks Morita.

Bucky has found a smuggler's cave, and gets him there before full bloom. He drives his fingers into Steve just to get slick for his own hole before skewing himself onto Steve. Their heat-rut lasts for a week, Bucky relents and fills Steve intermittently, using all the condoms Uncle Sam gave them.

"What's all this?" Bucky looks at the earthworks and barbwire, tanks, anti-aircraft guns and other ordinance. There's tins and boxes of food stacked carefully with rounds.

"You're the only omega stupid enough to be out here. A lot of Alphas came calling. Good thing they brought toys, we weren't supplied for this mission." Dum-Dum slapped Barnes on the shoulder.

"How did you make it through screening?" Falsworth asks Bucky.

Steve start to defend him but gets Bucky's look and stops.

He goes into heat again the next month and they lose ten days.

Bucky falls in the Alps from the train they board to seize Zola. Gabe pulls Steve back from the open side of the car. There is no time to look for his body. Zola gives up Schmidt's secret base to save his hide and to gloat. They run against the clock to stop the Valkyrie's bombing ride. Steve doesn't return, doesn't reach his next heat.


	2. Chapter 2

Peggy Carter opens her door and spots the bundle, casting her eyes around. She picks up the baby and heads inside. The towel is one of her own, and upon inspection she judges the girl has just been delivered.

She doesn't know how this is possible and yet she knows who this child is, her parentage at least. Her first responsibility is to arrange a birth certificate with her as the mother. 

At first she believes that Barnes somehow found Rogers. It is the most reasonable origin for little Sarah. Her searches make her question that option. She's two, three steps behind following a trail of deaths and then nothing. It happens time after time.

There is a rumor forming. He's called the Winter Soldier. He's a bogeyman. A ghost. A cover for the fallibility of spies and counterintelligence.

Peggy Carter thinks he's James Buchanan Barnes. Was Barnes. She doesn't know what's left of him. Dum Dum when she visits shares a few things that should have been reported earlier, when they could have run some tests, figured out what Zola did, what Zola accomplished.

She chivvies Howard in his Arctic search. If Barnes could survive his fall, could deliver Sarah years after the end of the war, Rogers might be alive.

Sarah grows up over the years. Headstrong like Steve, a charmer like James.

It takes twenty years to catch Barnes. He's been brainwashed, unmade and remade. He doesn't remember Steve. He doesn't remember himself.

She pulls the plug on Zola with relish. The computer array beggars imagination.  
Memory. Zola spent his last days saving his memory, while withdrawing Barnes'.

It's not just James' mind Zola cut to fit. Peggy can hardly restrain Howard from poking about the cybernetic legs and arm. She really couldn't fault Barnes if he killed Howard, but she does need him, so herding Howard is vital.

"Zola didn't design those. I couldn't design those."

Peggy pulls the shade down over the one-way window. The PT togs just hide the scar tissue where the limbs attach mid-thigh and well onto Barnes' chest. The arm flexes and contracts just like a real one. The feet don't have separated toes.

"Focus, Howard. Work on something, anything, that's not attached to Barnes."

"Want to fondue?" Stark was already walking to the door. "You said anything. Going to go over the searches made. See where I need to innovate."

Peggy needed Howard, so she couldn't kill him. If only he wouldn't remind her of both so whiplash. They've gotten James' body back. Can they recover the rest?


	3. Chapter 3

When he starts remembering it's Steve that he recalls. Waking; he has terrible nightmares but they aren't part of his days. It is some time before she realizes that Barnes doesn't recall the post-Rebirth Steve, that he's not recollecting the Steve that was, because he has no contrast to compare him to.

He knows how to move. He's been honed to an apex of strength and flexibility, with an uncanny reflex speed. It could be mistaken for dance, but she can read between the lines. There's a reason that the only implements he's allowed are pancakes and bread. Currently the option of magazines carefully unstapled is being tried out. 

Somebody has the gall to wear Omega (or one of the knockoffs, more likely) in a secure facility. Barnes gets a whiff of it and starts acting like he's going into rut. The perfumes don't actually incite rut, but it is with relief that James realizes that; were he an anomaly it would be most difficult.

Barnes makes a request. He's not asked for anything (other than Steve) since they captured him. He wants something to draw with. Charcoal, she permits him a piece of charcoal.

He draws Steve. Not the way Steve drew, this is shaded planes, all surface and no line. But for anyone that knew pre-Serum Steve, you couldn't doubt the specificity.

He draws other things, later. She recognizes alleys, that Steve as a reckless Omega pointed out as getting beaten up down. He may draw part of the North African front. He draws scenes without people, bazaars, souks, rivers of boats and steep mountain paths.

Peggy finds that Barnes took a printmaking course before the war. She had followed a hunch and that it panned out was terribly sad for all that it was entirely too expected.

He escapes. He returns. He has dropped the President and the Secretary of State at the Hague. They're alive, physically uninjured. He has a cowl with tiny wings sticking out from either side.

"What happened to Steve?" His question, the way he asks, the memory of that last radio contact--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments and kudos. Thank you for reading (There will be more.)


	4. Chapter 4

Sarah grew up before they found Barnes. She is Peggy's daughter, but she'll see Steve in her just when she considers that's impossible. It should be impossible. She's seen too much involving Rogers and Barnes to limit them. Sarah is tall and strong, smart and compassionate with a sharp sense of humor. She's also stubborn, and Peggy admits to herself that's her contribution.

"After Zola was brought in by the Howling Commandos, an attack on Schmidt's base was planned and implemented. Steve boarded the escape plane-fortress. Schmidt had broken with the Reich, he was going to bomb world cities. Steve took the plane down, crashed it into the Arctic."

"Who let Steve into the Army? Why let Steve into the Army? How did he get on the plane, how did he stop the plane?" Barnes is kneading the cowl in his flesh hand.

"Tell me about the mask. That's not deflection, sergeant."

"Think Steve drew propaganda. A bond advertisement. His character, I borrowed it. Criminals are cowards, presidents and pimps."

"Steven Grant Rogers underwent a procedure, became taller, stronger, faster, more durable. He was Captain America, he liberated a prisoner of war factory. Sold bonds too."

We're still looking for him. Finding you, gives us hope." She thinks she sees on his face memories that seemed fevered dreams slide into place. "While we search, would you be Captain America?"

\---------------------------------

It takes another twenty years to find Steve in the Valkyrie's wreckage. He'd crawled or been thrown from the helm seat after the crash. He was found under his shield, uniform testament of the injuries he'd sustained. He's transported, resuscitated and left in a coma.

James sits vigil by Steve's bedside. His eyes snap open at the squeeze of his fingers.

"Bucky?!" His voice comes out breathy and broken.

"Walked it off." He uncaps a squeeze bottle, squirts some honey into Steve's mouth before pushing the call button. Medical swarms the room to go over Rogers, treating Barnes like furniture. Eventually they go out like the tide, Steve too healthy to need them further.

Peggy comes with a carafe and pours a shallow cup of mulled cider for Steve. He drinks the warm liquid.

"How long?" His voice sounds better, husky. He's glancing between Bucky and Carter.

"It's 1993. September 15th, 1993. We won the war in 1945. August." Peggy can feel Steve's gaze leave her, eyes now only for Bucky. She slips out of the room.

"You don't look fifty."

"Punk."

"Lie with me, jerk."

Bucky freezes.

"Bucky..."

He takes off the thin glove from his left hand and rolls up his shirt sleeve. "Legs too."

"Get in bed." He hugs Bucky who then curls around him. They're quiet a long time. "You're here. Are you still mine?"

"Always."

Steve drags Bucky over him.

"Let me get my shoes off!" Steve lets him go, holding his hands out. Bucky unlaces his shoes, leaves on his socks. He's pounced on, pressed down by Steve's improbable body. He falls asleep to the whuffling Steve makes.


	5. Chapter 5

"Nice place." Steve has been discharged from medical and gone with Bucky. There are a lot of changes to get caught up with. So many cars. None of them fly. He can't imagine if this traffic were in three dimensions. Clothes are weird. Peggy's still put together and Bucky looks good like he's running to the corner and coming back to bed. He's seen books with hundreds of color pictures.

"Glad you approve. So, front room, the cushions don't come off the couch, there are coasters. Kitchen is, don't go in there until I can explain it all. I want to show you this first."

A bathroom. The toilet is in its own area, and there is a huge tub. Once it would have been big enough for the both of them. "Ours?"

"Yeah. Plenty of hot water, too." Bucky leads them back out. "And this is your room."

"My room."

"Steve?"

His room. It does have good light. They shared apartments smaller than this room. Bucky clasps his head between his hands, rubbing his face over Steve's.

"It's so good to have you back."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, you punk. Now, let me show you something else." He lets Steve hold on for a bit before insisting to continue the tour.

"That's a washing machine." Steve looks at the controls, opens the glass door.

"Has as many instructions as a plane and more reliable. Do not wash anything red with white."

"Experience?" He wondered just what pink laundry Bucky caused.

"I've washed all your clothes. You have to do that, after you buy them. Not much needs an iron."

"Going to show me your room?"

"We're there. You just got distracted."

Steve realized there was a made up bed across the room and a rack of pull out bins. He wondered if this was a future thing, but that didn't make sense. "Can I see you?" He's learned that after the fall, quite some time after the fall Bucky was found. Zola had landed like a cat and got a new lab. Peggy had killed what was left of the Swiss monster. He might have swung her about.

"Sure." He pulls off the knit shirt. There is a scar scoring his chest past his left shoulder where the metal arm joins. Bucky pushes down the jeans and Steve is mesmerized by the skimpy knit briefs leaving just enough to imagination. He looks further down. The knees and on are metal. He notes that the shape of the socks are off. More disturbing is that the joins above the knees aren't even. It's like disheveled stockings.

"May I?" He reaches for Bucky's arm, the plates flexing as Steve fingers the swell of bicep, comes to the hollow of elbow, slides down to the wrist. He's seen the hand. He's drawn the hand. He squeezes it in its glove before turning his attention to Bucky's legs. They are remarkable, he slides his hands down sinking to his knees. He skins off Bucky's socks. They don't have toes, yet the feet curl like Bucky's did. They're art, the arm and the legs are art, they are more than what would be required, they mimic too precisely what machines might do better than. Science fiction.

He stands, wrapping his arms around Bucky. Alive. Bucky is alive and warm. "Any more to this tour?"

"Just the attraction under your clothes."

"Our room." He thought a moment. "Um, I'd like a real shower." Hospitals are always gritty.

"Can be arranged. Want me to scrub your back?"

"Yeah, you do that." It takes him a bit to figure out getting back to the bathroom. They'd never had time outside of rut to make love since the Project.

The shower has water jets in the floor, in the sides and a ring above. Bucky puts this mitt on and it's the perfect amount of friction. Steve shampoos his hair and Bucky's right hand joins in. His hips are rocking. "Do we have slick?"

"In your room. Our room."

"Better." Once they are rinsed he has Bucky shut off the shower. The towels are divine. "Room."

The tube in Bucky's hand is tiny, disappointingly tiny.

"It's slipperier."

Steve isn't yet convinced. The fingers opening him change his mind; Bucky sliding in, it's good, very good. He pulls them to the floor to better arch, give full access. Maybe next heat, it could be like this. Bucky speeds up, spills into Steve. Steve drops onto his back, wrapping his legs around Bucky's thighs.

Eventually even that is not enough, Bucky softens and slips from Steve. "What?!" Bucky has wrapped his mouth around Steve's cock and is sliding down. He rubs his hand against Bucky's distended cheek. 

He's surprised he lasts so long. He tries to warn Bucky but comes first. He lifts Bucky into bed then heads to the door.

"Where you going?"

"To clean up."

"There's a bathroom here, that door."

Steve opens it, expecting a joke. Nope, really is a bathroom. He cleans up, brings a hot rag to wash Bucky, takes it back to rinse and hang up. Pins Bucky to the mattress and falls asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Peggy knows a secret, two actually, but the one is a secret unknown to anyone else. Steve Rogers is pregnant, has been since the war. The Howling Commandos thought it was Bucky that was the omega. It must have happened the second rut. Which was just before Barnes fell from the train.

She had a test run blind on a sample she misdirected. She'll need to tell Steve soon. Until he was stabilized the information would have just distracted the resuscitation team.

Sarah was the other side of forty. She wondered if Barnes would tell Rogers. He'd only asked her how her daughter was. She wasn't sure if he remembered placing Sarah on her door step.

She knows that she'd do anything for her daughter. She doesn't know how Barnes is this strong.


	7. Chapter 7

"How's that working for you?" Steve looks Bucky over in the Captain America uniform. It's not a copy of his in the war. In some ways it's closer to the chorus girl outfit he wore

"Gave me something to do. Made me feel closer to you. Like I was doing something right."

Steve kisses him on the forehead, then on the mouth. It's slow and a promise. "Now?"

"Like I'm a pretender."

"You've been Captain America longer than I was." He knows this look, the one that now means "I was the Winter Soldier longer." He steps in close, drifting his hands over Bucky. "We could take turns."

"This turning you on?"

"You're hot." Steve was quiet for a bit. "Yeah, some."

"Good thing I was checking repairs and not on call. Ooh!"

Steve works his way down Bucky rubbing his face over his groin. He gets the access fly open and licks just the crown. Finally Bucky grabs him by the hair and thrusts. Steve swallows more, not putting it all on Buck. He looks up and lets Bucky's cock into his throat. He rocks Bucky's hips back and forward. He takes it deeper when offered.

Steve pulls back to just the head, tightening his lips. Bucky doesn't disappoint, spilling into his mouth. Steve swallows and slides down and Bucky quakes clutching Steve's hair. He eases off, transferring Bucky's grip from his hair to his fingers.

"Take me."

Steve moans, locates slick and pushes the uniform pants down as far as they'll go before stopped by the boots. He rubs Bucky's hole getting it wet before even pressing down. He's slow and thorough in his teasing. He shoves in to the root and gives it hard and fast, long strokes and tattoos against Bucky's prostate. He's writhing on Steve's cock, pushing back and reaming himself, arms reaching back to hold Steve's shoulders.

Steve spurts and softens. He pulls up the uniform pants to remove the boots, stripping Bucky. Bucky plucks at his clothes and Steve sheds them. They curl up together.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve requests a meeting with Director Carter, to see about how he can now serve. It's not like the war, Bucky is home frequently. Planes have a lot more range. He's been reading a lot. He won't take Captain America from Bucky, and he knows sharing will just leave them each at lost ends.

"What's this?" Steve takes the folder. It's odd seeing Peggy as a matron, enough of the woman she'd been months ago in turns giving the lie or underscoring her current appearance.

"Results of a medical test."

He reads, there have been so many tests. "This can't be right." He looks back at the word. Pregnant. "I haven't had a heat in--"

"The sample was run once you weren't a solid block."

Oh. "How is it?"

"You should have an exam. No one expects a pregnant Alpha."

"Um."

"I can arrange one, away from prying eyes."

"Yes, please."

She left and he thought. That he was still pregnant had to be a positive. He thought of the last part of the war. He hadn't known when they stormed the secret base, when he chased Schmidt and boarded the plane. Hadn't known while he fought Schmidt or as he prepared to crash the plane, hadn't known as they ziplined to seize Zola from the train.

That second heat had been intense. It didn't matter if one broke, slipped or they just didn't use one every time. They might have run out, Bucky wasn't nearly as reticent about sticking it in, having proved concept that even rut-fueled he wouldn't hurt Steve. Habits die hard. He remembers Bucky taking him in, memorably knelt over him and skewering himself, just one among many. No way could they carry enough condoms.


	9. Chapter 9

He tells Bucky before the exam. He goes alone, he has anonymity that Bucky doesn't even out of the uniform. Helmets sometimes get knocked off. Their old reels are (thankfully) forgotten. 

The exam is anti-climatic, everything is fine, the baby is growing and just fine. He doesn't choose to know its gender, they can determine it before babies are born, before puberty. Maybe later, right now it makes no difference.

Howard dies. He was older than them, during the war and especially with all the time that's passed. He sees Tony Stark when they go to the funeral. Bucky knows him. Tony calls Bucky Cap. They're pallbearers among hired men. Tony looks amazingly young.

Peggy Carter does not. The years haven't marked her as harshly as they might, but their passage is there to be read. She is with a woman neither young nor old.

"Her daughter." Bucky whispers it in his ear.

There is a supper and he and Bucky are split to different tables. There are seating switches with the courses. Tony plops down beside him at one of the changes.

"You're what Dad was looking for."

Steve doesn't know how to respond to that, what to think about it, what to say in reply. He cannot grasp the amount of time that has passed from when he forced Schmidt's plane into the ice. To him it's all time travel, a smaller miracle than Bucky, alive.

"All my life he was looking for you." He smiles wryly. "I'd thought his searching was over when my Uncle appeared. Redoubled. A life's mission accomplished."

Steve realized that Tony was drunk. He couldn't begrudge him, this was what he'd been going for in that bombed out bar in London. He couldn't know what it was like for Tony losing his father. He'd hardly known his, their time so short, gas-ravaged lungs further constricting their relationship. His mother died by inches and he knew it was for him. The tuberculosis ward paid more.

"Question is, what makes you so special, Steve Rogers?"

He doesn't say what he told Schmidt. He's been too awed by Bucky; sometimes Bucky doesn't remember and finding Steve beside him is a surprise, a joyous, boggling surprise. "Luck, I've been very lucky in my friends."

"Rhodey!"

A serious, dark wiry young man appears. He first checks Tony, then offers his hand. "Captain James Rhodes."

"Steve Rogers." He shakes and judges the other man as considering various possibilities, organizing them.

"I'm lucky, aren't I, Honeybear?"

"Fortunate."

Steve smiled at the long-suffering tone the word was delivered in.


	10. Chapter 10

They don't use weeks for his pregnancy, just development milestones. Peggy steps down as SHIELD's director. Nick Fury is her replacement, Alexander Pierce greenlights the appointment.

He thickens at his waist, negligible to casual observers. It's fortunate that armor has side adjustments, not that he's going out on missions or even sparring. The uniform is dark, red stars on either bicep, wings marked on the outer ankles of his boots.

It isn't until the baby starts pressing clear foot or hand prints on his abs that it's incontestably clear that he's pregnant. Bucky likes to watch, sometimes taps short patterns against Steve and the tiny protrusion.

A surgeon brings the baby out at ten pounds, two ounces. The difference between the books and the reality is just like freeing the POWs. Bucky knows more about babies, which is double edged.

"I'm just making it even." Bucky is wearing Theodore, as he does at home. Steve's not sure if he means for the time in the present or total time. Theodore would assuredly have something to say against the later. He relents when Steve comes for the baby. Sometimes Steve just grabs them both.

He settles 'Dore on his left. He's been thinking about this for some time. "We need to find someone to look after him when we need to go and do." He refuses to say what, because reality outbids his imagination.

Bucky's expression, it's like how he felt as his life fell away from the train. Steve grabs Bucky's left hand, lacing them together as the metal allows. "Someone good. Better to plan ahead. I want to come with you, make sure you can come back." So far the missions... Even with that it's been nerve wracking each time Bucky has gone. It's not like that when you're in. He wants to have Bucky's back, and he wants to start before it's high stakes. There is only so much preparation he can do outside of combat. He's learned a lot of things that would have helped in the war. He knows there is more, that can only come from the field.

"You're not going to back down on this." Bucky doesn't make it a question. "Okay. I couldn't have gone home, so I can see your side. Thanks for giving me a little time thinking I can keep you safe. I needed that."

Steve leaned into Bucky, kissing him softly. Twenty years Bucky had to live without him, with just the memories of what the Winter Soldier did. He's reticent about that time, Steve cannot imagine living that long without Bucky. He wasn't good during the weeks after the fall and before his own plunge.

Bucky touches Theodore's downy head and Steve's bicep. "Do you have any idea how to find... it's not a baby sitter. We might be gone days at a time."

"I'll ask Carter." She won't be there for them forever, but he's glad she's here, that she's been here for Bucky.


	11. Chapter 11

Phil is not who they were expecting. He'd been a Ranger, with every sign of being career military. He has an honorable discharge; he's got references as an au pair for most of the time since his separation from the army. It's a veritable roster of powerful and private individuals of wealth. They're both wondering why he's interested in working for them.

"I've been interested in returning to the United States. While I've had generous leave, it's not the same." They are watching his video interview. It's a little disconcerting, how innocuous he seems answering the questions, compared to what they know of his military record.

They're going to give him a try. Honestly, they don't have a big pool. They need an intersection of skills, they want continuity and they're competing with much deeper pockets than their own. Some of their applicants honestly seem tired of dealing with fickle employers and likely are about to switch to security work.

He shakes their hands on meeting. Steve notes the active gaze Phil is using, assessing the room tactically. "I'm understanding that you have irregular schedules, I'll be working limited hours until I'm needed twenty-four hours a day. Salary with monthly adjustments for overages worked. So, may I meet Theodore?"

Steve has to go get him, Bucky too busy trying to disconcert Phil. The plan is for half-days three days a week with a full day every two weeks. He holds 'Dore during the introductions. He might not be doing as well at this as he'd like other than by comparison.

The plan never gets to the second week. After two half days, which go well, SHIELD calls Bucky in and Steve judges that the mission is the right one. He's correct, but in all the wrong ways. He gets coded messages that everything is carrying on. He itches to see Theo during the waiting and then there is no waiting. They are extracted three weeks after they left. Steve has additional debriefs and he sends Bucky home.

He finds Bucky once he gets in laying on the floor, Theodore stretched out on his chest. Something smells good.

"There are burritos staying warm in the oven and a pot roast in the slow cooker."

He goes into the kitchen and finds there is also a cooling pie and a batch of oatmeal nut cookies. He cuts up part of the pot roast for one plate and piles the burritos onto another, shutting off the oven before returning to Bucky and Theo.

He gets the baby and most of the burritos, while Bucky eats pot roast and occasionally feeds him bites. It's a good pot roast. They finish the rest of the roast between them, swapping Theodore back and forth until it's his bedtime. Post-routine Bucky breaks their hovering by mentioning the pie. They eat one slice each, putting a pot of water on to boil, and pulling a lasagna from the freezer and sliding it into the oven.

"Get a bowl and the tahini." Bucky opened a can of garbanzos.

Steve took over prep while Bucky grabbed the carrots and the garlic. The hummus tides them through, Steve draining the pasta once it's ready, splitting it between two deep plates, grating cheese over each.

"Can you think of anything to start for morning?" Steve is trying to pace himself, so he doesn't finish before the lasagna is ready to come out.

"On it." Bucky pulls something from the freezer, unwrapping it and putting it into the crockpot. He rummages through the cabinets and places cans on the counter before returning to his pasta. "Good thinking."


	12. Chapter 12

They heard the doorbell in the kitchen and then the door opening after a decent wait. Bucky makes a bit of noise and Phil appears at the frame. It's not lost on Steve they're both being looked over.

"I thought all considering I should at least make an appearance to Theodore."

"Good idea." Steve got up. "Can I offer you breakfast?"

"Go on, let him make you a waffle or some eggs. I'll get 'Dore." Bucky slipped out, left hand hidden.

"You don't have to, I ate before coming over."

"Thanks for the pot roast. What are you having?"

"A waffle and bacon sounds good."

"Help yourself to juice, coffee." Steve noticed Phil looking at the garlic bread. "It's pretty good. We woke up hungry."

Bucky returned with baby, his left hand gloved. Theodore squirmed and Phil took him as offered. "Have a piece of the garlic bread if you want." He grabbed one of the slices himself.

Phil passed on that but did pour himself coffee.

Steve put down a plate and lifts Theo. "It was a good pie." He finished clearing his plate. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." He ate his second breakfast with alacrity.

It's decided that tomorrow will be one of his part days and they'll pick up from there.

\-----------------------

Steve is getting better at considering this the present and not the future. A large part of that was Bucky, who's an old hand at navigating the changes. But another part is getting to know people. The art supply clerks and librarians help him span who he was and who he is now.

It's weird reading science-fiction that came out years after WWII writing about now or the early 21st century. There is so much that they thought would be that isn't and likewise things they didn't foresee that are. Cell phones; he's looked into them, it's the batteries holding them back. CDs are great, you can get entire symphonies onto a tiny platter and if it's dance music, you can make the house shake without a skip.

He flushes. It's not exactly dancing they do, when they manage a bit of time for just them. Bucky has fucked him every which way, is pretty sure Bucky knows his body better than he knows himself. As long as Bucky stays ahead of the doctors; he's pretty sure he's been poked and prodded more since the ice than before.

\----------------------

 

"Who is this?" Barnes asked. The little girl was sidling behind Phil's legs, her freckles hiding against the fabric, her hair a nimbus surrounding her head.

"This is Lola. Lola, could you come out and say hi?"

Lola peeks out, holding onto the canvas. "Hi." She stepped back behind Coulson.

He resisted saying more, once he could have played it cute. He's not that man anymore, and it's clear she's Phil's daughter.

Steve joined them just then. "Is this why you shut the door on me?" He smiles, a more natural version of his old Captain America smile.

Lola giggles and comes back out around.

"Okay, I'm corrected, she's totally a threat." He looks at Phil.

"Lola, how about you finish your drawing?" Phil asked

"Kiss, first."

Phil knelt and kissed her forehead, watching her skip off as he stood.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" Theo is walking now, something he picked up during one of their missions. He looks at Bucky, confirming it's news to him. Really, the door was all the collaboration needed.

"Not all employers are understanding." Phil's statement was dripping with 'some employers aren't understanding.'

"You're dropping everything on short notice... Steve, you sort this out."

He casts shade at his retreating half before turning back to Phil. "May I see what Lola is drawing?" He didn't expect him to start sweating. Just what was wrong with the world? He went to follow Lola.

Who was coloring Captain America and The Howling Commandos. Monty looked good in lilac. He sees the folder emblazoned with the foreshortened spinning shield. He starts laughing. He can't stop, though he tries.

Bucky comes in concerned, then sees the picture, chuckling. "Lola, may I see your other pictures?"

That seems to mollify her. They are not all Captain America, there are pages with winged horses and unicorns, real castles and other landmarks, Wonder Woman, Beefeaters. There are a lot of Captain Americas.

"Those are all great." Bucky escorts Steve and Phil back into the front room. "You okay?"

Steve nods. He'd sweat too if his kid was coloring Lone Ranger or Dick Tracy pictures and he was working for them. "How did you know?" Clearly Phil did or he wouldn't have been sweating.

"I saw your reels as a kid. You look just the same. Mostly." The last is directed at Bucky.

"Loose lips sink ships."

"James, that's enough." Phil isn't obviously more worried but he could take that the wrong way. "As a kid."

"And later. I had no idea you had survived."

"That took awhile. Look, let's eat, not talk about it, and get to know Lola. If that's okay with you?"

"Um, yeah. I'll start pasta, fry some bacon."

"Phil."

"Let him." He calls for Chinese takeout. In Cantonese. Mostly it's not on the English menu.

Steve goes into the kitchen, selecting items from the freezer. "350°, please."

"I've been underestimating."

"You've been more than thoughtful. Just having something hot after gels and drinks."

Phil shivers.

"Yeah. How'd you learn to make pies?"

"Neighbor. She watches Lola on my part days."

Bucky came in, Lola hanging from his right arm. "I've been apprehended." He swings his passenger at Phil and swipes a slice of bacon from the pan. "Don't do that, Lola." He digs out a silicone spatula with his right hand, chewing the bacon. "You've seen one of these?"

Lola nods.

"Same thing as my left hand. That would have burned otherwise."

"Your hand's not red."

Steve remembers the rescue, when Schmidt ripped his mask off and Bucky looked in fear at him, as if he was just wearing a mask. Now Steve knows it was also worry that Bucky's face would pull off.

"I'd rather have that green you did Dugan's mustache in." He smiled as Lola laughs. "It's still the same thing, even though it's the color of my skin." Bucky holds out both hands, before finishing his bacon.

Lola poked each hand and then the spatula. Phil took her to the table.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious plot points right after the love-making. Some graphic recounts of surgery. Thanks for bearing with me on updates.

Bucky leaned into Steve and the kiss, hands lightly skimming Steve. He let Steve peel his clothes from him, take his meticulous achingly slow time exploring his revealed skin. "Your clothes off too."

"Getting impatient?" Steve said it into his pectoral. He licked the nipple.

Punk was teasing him shamelessly. "Hold it against me?"

Steve breathed a trail up to his ear. "When you're good and ready." He did strip piecemeal in between taking him apart.

There being so much Steve never got old. Bucky closed his eyes as Steve drew his big hands down his arms. Steve treated the metal one just like it was real, so delicate in his touch.

Finally Steve got working on Bucky's pants. He didn't have as much skin below the waist to distract him. Steve stubbornly tried to prove otherwise, nipping his thighs. The flat of Steve's nails against the top of the longer leg thrummed in the metal and radiated back into his bones.

"How do you want me?" Steve's voice poured.

Now and yes fought, but Bucky managed to say, "Me, on my back."

Steve got him bare and on the bed, arms stretched over his head. Steve teased his hole with slick fingers, preparing him with single-minded focus. He was joined; legs lifted up and spread, Steve slid into him, easing at first. Steve lay over him and Bucky grabbed Steve's hand in his own flesh one, their eyes locked as Steve thrust into him.

Bucky wrapped his metal arm around Steve's broad back. He'd learned how to move so as not to catch Steve's skin between the shifting metal plates. He wanted to come and he wanted this to last forever. Steve wasn't fisting his cock. Washboard abs, sweat damped, weren't quite the friction he needed. So good.

Steve came. Bucky watched Steve's face, savoring the expression as he lost Steve's cock.

"STEVE!"

Steve looked up, lips wrapped around Bucky's cock. He shoved his face down.

Completion clawed at Bucky, Steve played him out just to his endurance. When he came it demolished him.

"Bucky?"

Steve had already been up and had washed. He'd washed Bucky too, some. "Punk," Bucky pulled him down and rolled over him. He caught his breath. "I need to tell you something, tell you before your next heat."

Steve interrupted, "We should have another baby."

What? He didn't let it derail him. "The serum changed me. I-", he pushed on, "I think I gave birth."

"Wha-" Steve bit off his words as Bucky's fingers touched his mouth.

"I don't think Hydra knew." The thought of that made him sick. He's convinced though that had they known, he wouldn't have managed to escape. "It's too weird for false memories, the ones they implanted."

"How? When?"

"If you'd gotten pregnant with Teddy the first rut, why the second one?"

"You think I got you pregnant?!"

He hoped it was Steve. "I don't know what I did with the baby." His memory from the train until Peggy caught him is frayed, threadbare excepting the things he did while he was a weapon.

"How did you give birth?"

He thought about slicing into his belly, parting his guts to bring out the red mass, gluing himself shut. He cleaned the baby, wrapped the baby and left the bundle somewhere safe.

Steve drew him closer. "I'll see what I can find out."

He hoped it was good. Had his assessment of safe been right?


	14. Chapter 14

"Steve, why are you really here?" Not that she didn't appreciate the visit or that Steve could vacuum under the couch and the coils of the refrigerator.

"You always were perceptive." Steve squared his shoulders and then let all the tension go. "Bucky has memories I need to get to bottom of. They're-- He believes them and I don't know how to check into them. I thought you might have some ideas."

The moment had come. She'd considered how she would react. Now, there was only one way to deal with this. She got up, "I'll be right back, you could bring out some biscuits from the kitchen." Peggy could only imagine how farfetched it seemed. She stepped into her room, opening the chest at the foot of her bed. Peggy pulled out one of the towels, made a quick pit stop, then returned to Steve.

"A little over forty years ago, one of my towels was stolen. That was the only thing taken, a towel like this. I only knew the towel was missing because it was returned with a baby inside." She'd carried Sarah to the cupboard, to see where the towel had been taken from. The others were still stacked merely missing the one swaddling the baby.

Steve turned the towel about in his hands. Unless his consternation was some utterly other matter, he was fitting together his pieces and hers. "You named her after my mother."

She had. "I can't explain how it's possible. She'd have had to have been delivered nearby, she was that fresh." The deliberate and skilled steps taken had seemed a clear message. It had been a leap of faith, considering Bucky had died years before. Simply put, no one else would go to that much trouble to leave their baby with her. She wondered why the memories had come back now. She should have guessed he hadn't remembered.

"A towel like this. Not this towel?"

"They were a set, a gift. The actual towel has been washed many more times than that one." She'd needed that connection and Sarah had latched onto it too.

Steve laid the folded towel on the coffee table. "Thank you."

"I- what do you want me to say? I want to be the one to tell her."

"Peggy, you are her mother." 

Only Steve!

"How much did the serum change me?"

Steve. "Enough that you're here and Teddy's here. Please consider that." Steve smiled. Sarah had one just like it, impossible as that should be. Steve was an omega. Bucky was an Alpha. Maybe it was the serum. Maybe it was just them. "How about you open a couple of jars and then go home?"

"I can do that."

**Author's Note:**

> There will be yet more story. Thanks for reading and your continuing patience!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Small Team Action](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5918374) by [peoriapeoria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peoriapeoria/pseuds/peoriapeoria)




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